Definition of Vanity

  They say that hens do cackle loudest when
      There's nothing vital in the eggs they've laid;
      And there are hens, professing to have made
  A study of mankind, who say that men
  Whose business 'tis to drive the tongue or pen
      Make the most clamorous fanfaronade
      O'er their most worthless work; and I'm afraid
  They're not entirely different from the hen.
  Lo! the drum-major in his coat of gold,
      His blazing breeches and high-towering cap --
  Imperiously pompous, grandly bold,
      Grim, resolute, an awe-inspiring chap!
  Who'd think this gorgeous creature's only virtue
  Is that in battle he will never hurt you?

Hannibal Hunsiker